From the mouths of Babes.....

Ok so I have known for years My son was too damn smart for his own good...but Now I realize he is apparently is also too damn smart for my good.I knew he felt the loss of Skylar little did i know just how much he felt it Yesterday whil My MIL was in town (yea so thats a whole nother post lol) we went to lunch at a local Buffet while were thr an old HS fried of My DH was also there with her 2 beutiful kids including her month old daughter (yea that was a bit hard) well the baby was set in her carseat in the seat directly behind DS and I was amazed wen he just sat there and stared at her with this longing face for nearly 20 minutes! afer a while he looked at me and asked.."mommy do you think Skylar would have looked as pretty as her?" OUCH!! i didn't know what to say other than "I am sure she would have been beautiful baby boybut i think her eyes woud be more like yours" this answer seemed to satisfy and he finally was willing to turn and eat then from there it was off to Walmart while we were there he saw the cutest pink toddler Disney bike( I ws looking for our new Mt Bikes) he looked at it for a few and then proceeded to sit on it and after a minute says to me "mommy if Skylar was alive i would get her this bike" DOUBLE OUCH!!! I can't be upset with him and I try to hide well the pain I feel on my bad days but those words tore at My heart and Dh's as well Anthony wants a baby sister so desperatly and we would love to make that happen But conception does not come easy to us How do we explain to him that we are trying but ultimatly its up to God ( I think this explanation has him losing Faith a bit) We may not go to church every Sunday but we do have faith ..Hell some days that and hope is all we have. I feel like I am failing him some days... and I hate that feeling.

Now as I mentioned earlier my MIL was in town yesterday and she has a way of always trying to "help" that ends up looking more to me like in her eyes I am not "doing it right" now this is all on top of the afore mentioned events Normlly i can blow her off ut yesterday she managed to get under my skin Big time when she "decided" My kitchen needed to be cleaned "well" at first i was totally annoyed However my savior on this was My MIL mom was down with her..I LOVE Little Grandma D she alwasy has my back with the MIl LOL so she could see I was getting annoyed and she simply smiles at me and says "Let her do it by herself...that just means you don't have to later." i had to laugh at this..she had a point so Now My kitchen and My family room are clean..and I am well rested *evil grin* I see grandma's point Mom was so determined to make a point of sorts that instead she didw me a favor that allowed me more free time with ds today! What makes it all the more satisfying...that was totally opposite of her intention her intenetion was I would decide to help and she could "show me the ight way to do it" Gotta lovethe littl victories hehe